On hold = dead as disco

It had to happen eventually: the English FA has put plans for a 39th league game "on hold" after pressure from FIFA, the Asian Football Confederation, MADD and NAMBLA (amongst others). This 39th game would have been played outside of England in an attempt to globalize the Premier League's brand. Not only would this have upset the perfect balance of every PL team playing every other team twice, but due to the outrage over grown men playing an extra game of soccer on a piece of land far away from their usual patches, it's safe to assume this 39th match would have caused the return of the Black Death, spontaneous nuclear explosions and the collapse of the U.S. housing market.

Wait, that last one happened? Well, only kinda. But it would have completely fallen apart had this game gone on. Trust me.

I agree the 39th game was nothing more than a desperate money grab by the FA and I'm glad it's not going to happen, but Sepp Blatter needs to calm his shit down. Threatening to blackball England from hosting the 2018 World Cup? That's a bit extreme and just a smidge outside his scope of power. Worry about building the infrastructure in South Africa to make sure the next World Cup actually happens before squawking about the leagues. Thanks.

So yeah, about that soccer team you own...

Former Thai Prime Minister and current Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra is back in Thailand and officially charged with corruption after fleeing the country 17 months ago. He was arrested and quickly freed on bail, but the fact remains: A PREMIER LEAGUE OWNER MIGHT GO TO JAIL! Remarkably, there's not a word of this news on Manchester City's official website. How does a sports league, especially one of the PL's size, deal with an owner behind bars? From what I've read I don't think there's any chance Shinawatra will get out of this mess, so unless he can grant temporary powers, his short tenure as owner will come to an end soon. Man City fans will no doubt be disappointed since Shinawatra opened up his wallet for Sven-Goran Eriksson and has the club poised for European competition next season. Without his money the club could find themselves waiting a long time before another season sweep of crosstown rivals Manchester United. How should the Premier League deal with the impending legal struggle? Your thoughts in the comments.

Thanks to Daily Mail for the pic.

The gold standard

Western Hockey League commissioner Ron Robison ordered the Portland Winter Hawks to restructure their front office on account of being terrible. The team has lost 18 games in a row (but one of them was in OT!) and have barely more than half as many points as the next worst team. The owner/GM, Jim Goldsmith, owns a New York real estate firm, which I'm sure gives him lots of time to analyze players throughout western Canada. Nope, nobody ever got tied up closing a real estate deal...neeeeeeever happens.

We need this kind of leadership throughout sports, and even beyond. If Ron Robison were the GM of the NBA, Isiah would have been deported. Not just fired and banned from the NBA, but banned from America. If Robison were president, Alberto Gonzalez never would have been able to fire those prosecutors for political reasons because Robison would have snuffed it out in a heartbeat and beaten Gonzalez with his own briefcase.

In short, Ron Robison is now my favorite commissioner ever.

Don't sunburn your neck

Bud Selig has proven yet again his inability to mismanage baseball's most public issues. This time, he's refusing to accept third-party drug testing. World Anti-Doping Agency president John Fahey has done everything but throw a tantrum in his efforts to get Selig to understand the importance of independent testing. Selig claims MLB's doctor will become more independent, but how is that possible when he's writing the checks?

Think of the doctor as a drug tester for a pharmaceutical company. The pharma makes its money from selling drugs, not from R&D. The longer R&D goes on, the less money the pharma makes. Researchers for big pharmas have incentive to produce findings that allow drugs to be sold; if the researchers keep finding problems with drugs, especially those with huge market potential, they could be out of a job because the pharma will cut non revenue-producing jobs before the ones that bring in the money.

MLB's doctor has personal incentive not to release positive tests, especially for superstar players that bring in the fans. If the doctor releases enough positive tests, more players get suspended and MLB loses revenue since the fans' favorite players aren't in the game. If it gets to a point that jobs must be cut, the doctor's job will be up soon since it doesn't produce revenue.

I know that would never happen and I'm taking things to the point of absurdity, but simply because this scenario is possible (if not plausible), doesn't that prove the necessity of moving the testing out from MLB's direct control? Selig has been in business too long not to understand the power of incentives. Hell, he used to sell used cars! Sales is entirely about incentives!

Because of the above and the fact this is such an obvious PR gaffe, I am hereby referring to Bud Selig as The Ostrich.

Thanks to Reverend Colinski for the pic

You have brought record numbers to the parks, Mr. Selig, but you refuse to acknowledge the problems that are staring you in the face.